A reader asked for a "real" update so here it goes:

1 month from today, I'll be on an airplane to California.

It's really crazy trying to fathom the months ahead of me. Finally a summer 100% productive. Finally a summer so far away from what I would have ever asked for. "But you applied for this internship, so how can you say that?" True, but there's more to it than that. Funny thing is, the day I applied for this internship my motives were completely wrong. I wanted to GET AWAY. And FAR. FAR FAR FAR away from everyone who knows me. I was so sick of the heaviness that comes from being 21 and carrying a calling of a lifestyle delivering people and believing for them. I was tired of doing things for people I have to see day after day who may never value me as much as I value them. Being around people daily who seem to be able to just go with the flow and just exist practically whereas I feel that everyday I have to go and do and say and write this and pray for that person and say no to that movie because of convictions. It's alot of complaining in my heart...Alot of tiredness. Alot of weariness.

But then God sends a friend to call me and pray for me over the phone. And a pastor to tell me "why" God has called me and given me stricter convictions. And parents who are pulling for me 150%. And people who sacrifice to support me and my upcoming trip.

I'm tired, yes.

I'm weary, yes.

I'm needy, yes.

But I'll make it through.

God will prepare me.

Here's to summer...