Well.

My heart is heavy.
But this time it is still a healthy heavy.

I want to so badly for the people I love to do well and succeed and know Jesus more and see Him and feel Him and love Him.
I want them to go on and do good things for people and to raise godly families and all of that. I want them to do well now and make good choices now and excel now so that 3 and 4 and 5 years from now they will have solid ground to stand on.
I just want them to do well. And I want to love them the way Jesus loves.

So with that said,
my life lately has been chaotic.
But it's good. And God is great. And I am confident of His plan for me and for all the people I know (and the ones I don't.)

I'm just balancing so many things. I think I have found a "right" balance, but it's still balance.
Growing relationships and all the newness that comes along with that. I realize I trust people easy, open up easy, and just in general, don't have a hard time making relationships deeper. Then I am in the midst of 2 pretty big group projects which I am not a big fan of (group projects, not the subject matter) and so that is consuming some time. Then I've been sick with a kidney infection a month ago and the recovery of that just to get this nasty cold that is more annoying then it is anything else. So I've been sleeping a lot. I'm balancing some minstry type opportunities God has opened for me and that has been....well, honestly, amazing for lack of anything better. There's just a lot going on and everyone around me is so busy and for the first time in a while (if not, my whole life) I have balance. I can still be insanely busy at the same time as having those moments like last night. MAN, THE SPIRIT OF GOD WAS PRESENT LIKE NONE OTHER AT PRAYER LAST NIGHT. That is such a 20-year-old-college-student way of saying it, but wow. We ended up in a circle holding hands/hugging and praying like crazy over one another. Like for real praying. It was amazing. God was just so with us and we began to pray for a friend who is struggling and I can't wait to hear what God did last night in his life. Because we were literally crying out to God over his soul and his choices and his life and there was so much power in that. Those times amongst all this craziness make things balanced and it's just awesome. Clearly, I'm lacking for words at the moment.

Which, somehow, brings me to saying this:
For all of you who know me, and probably even if you don't that well you know this about me: My two biggest dreams are getting married and being a mother. Lately, I've felt like God is letting me know the whole relationship thing is closer, but man. I need some serious prayer for patience and waiting and this whole process. God is so good to me. I know He has someone for me. And I know He made us for each other and it's all going to be perfect in God's timing, but somedays it's harder then others because I've never been in a relationship and my heart just has so much love and longing for that and somedays it seems like that day won't ever come. So if you're reading this, please do pray for me. and for him. and for this waiting process.

All my love,
Hannah