I hate the first couple weeks of school.

I'm comfortable here.

Things are easy.

Things are complicated there.

Complicated doesn't always mean bad.

Just different.

I'm surrounded & covered & lifted up here.

I am there too a good bit.

But it's more taxing.

It's busy. It's routine.

I like busy & routine here, because it's safe.

Sometimes it feels uncertain there.

Faith is more needed there.

"Even the sinner loves the one who loves him and serves the one who serves him"

I have no idea what to expect there.

People are leaving.

People who are my heart.

I don't know why I didn't expect this to happen.

It's going to eventually anyway.

But now?

I don't know how to handle it or how to deal.

So I'm not.

I'm expectant don't get me wrong

but being expectant doesn't make it any easier.

Faith is being convinced of what is not seen.