stream of Consciousness.

I want to be married. So badly. I want to have babies. I want to renovate an old charming house, decorating it however I want. I don't want my brother to be away for Christmas, but I'm proud of him and excited he is living his dream--teaching English in Spain. I am having a hard time in the 'in between'. I want to graduate. I really hate school, but I know that people all over the world would kill for an opportunity like I have. My dream is to work with teenagers, in and out of jail, counseling and guiding them. I want to work in the inner city, I want to work with people in the gay community. My heart was captured for people in that community when I was in LA. Speaking of, my heart aches. Now I know what people refer to when they say their arms ache to hold a baby. I want to hold my babies. I want to 'attack them with hugs & kisses' like we'd always do. I want to hear them yelling my name from far away. I want to sit with them and tell them it's going to be okay. I know that patience is a virtue, and God's timing is best, but sometimes it's hard. Loving the season, loving my family, loving my precious Dad who still takes me out after all these years. New Years is going to be an incredible... A night celebrating Jesus and goodness. I am so loved. So deeply and perfectly loved. I am so blessed. So touched. So changed by this past year. So changed by the goodness and mercy of the Lord. I am so excited about attending Passion 2011 in Atlanta for 4 days. I am so excited about 2011, it's going to be huge for me. I have ideas of what is in store, but I also know that God always goes above and beyond our wildest dreams. I am so excited about tomorrow, I'll be handing out 37 gifts with my Mom to a lady and her children for Christmas... found her situation through Angel Tree. I love that organization, it is for children with one or both parents in prison. Thankful and blessed. Cheers!