I moved to LA in May to pursue an opportunity doing inner city & outer city work at the L.A. Dream Center.
To say it changed my life would be an understatement.
To say it taught me more about God than anything else ever has would be an understatement.
To say it showed me how selfish I was and how much needed to change in me would be an understatement.
I'm new. I'm moved. I'm ready. I'm ready for the things God has for me. I'm ready to give my life for it because that's what He's asking.
I've had a rough year. Until May, I mean.
Something about my university and my 'experience' there was really poisonous for me. I don't want to blame Lee or tear down the university as a whole, because I don't think it has anything to do with LEE as much as it has to do with me and the people and situations I allowed myself to be in, but I got really bitter for a while about the church and people. I'd sit in prayer services for 30 minutes and not 'feel' anything when everyone else around me seemed to be so touched. I'd sit in church and know all the right answers and the right things to say, but not how to go about making it mean something more. I was struggling with a lot of health issues and got sick of the whole 'Jesus will heal you... just keep praying' stuff because, I was praying and He wasn't healing me and I didn't know how to handle that. I was just a mess in a lot of ways, had a bad relationship and wanted to escape. I'm the Queen of Escaping. So... I looked to see how I could get far away.
It's funny that the initial reason behind me finding the DC was because I was escaping. I had to get so far away. I went out there in May and immediately I found Him. I found Jesus and healing and faith and wholeness. I let go of myself and found Him. I got a counselor that I highly respect to help me with my issues. I received words of love from world changers of my generation. I got away from religion and found a radical movement of doing something for someone else.
I laughed and sat on sidewalks and went to the projects and hung out with people different then me.
They taught me how to love.
They taught me how to live again.
My heart is alive.
God is good.
He thrives in coming through for us.
He thrives in rescuing.
He thrives in making beauty out of our ashes.
And that's what He's done for me.
He's taken my ashes and made something beautiful.
He's taken my mess and made something worthy out of it.
He's taken my shame and clothed me with value.
He is so good.
He is so worthy.
LOVE.
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