You know, sometimes all I can think is really? Really, God?"

I asked for friends and He gave me family. I asked for just one little reminder of His plan for me, and He gave me several. And then some more. Just because, well, He can. I asked for Him to show up in a big way, and 2 people gave their lives to Him. I asked Him to help my friends sleep well for just one night, and He gave them a week's worth of great rest. 

Because He can.

And He cares about

every

single

aspect

of

my

life.

I am trying to comprehend these last couple months. To somehow recap what He's done or what I've learned or something. I'm just at a loss for words. Which clearly doesn't happen to often. It's crazy the way Satan tries to attack God's children...just a couple nights ago I was feeling super down and discouraged....to the point where I picked my phone up to call my friend and ended up not dialing her and just going to bed. For some reason, I tell myself that just going to bed fixes things, but really, all it did was make me wake up wishing I could die. I literally turned over and turned my alarm off and considered skipping a final....and not just a "oh, It's all good if I miss it." but a "I don't have one reason to get out of bed this morning, not one single thing" and I woke up all in this horrible mood and feeling sick from stress and just horribly lonely and it was crazy because I haven't felt this way since the beginning of school and it was just so weird. Satan has power. If people say he doesn't it's not true. He isn't more powerful than the Lord, but I'm telling you, he had me that morning and he had me the majority of that day. I think what bothered me most is that he got me to thinking about how since now I am surrounded by such an amazing community, that I couldn't or shouldn't call them. Mostly, I hate how he makes me feel like it was a choice I made, to allow him to hold me that day. It's debatable whether or not we can do anything about that, and I'm not up for discussing it now. I just think it's crazy how in those moments I forgot for a split second....I forgot all the BEAUTY of the Lord and of these past couple months....and now I'm really seeing His beauty in everything. I'm crazy excited about the future, about what God has in store. Today my brother told me something that really got me thinking, he said that to be successful you have to be able to see 5-10 years down the road. And at first I was thinking "Aren't we supposed to be living in the present?" but honestly, if you think about it, that is one of the biggest lies our society teaches us....because God sees the big picture, and no, we don't KNOW all things, but shouldn't we be looking at our lives in the big picture instead of just the present? It matters a whole lot what we do today, but it also matters a whole lot where we're going and who were becoming. Just something to think about.  I'm better because of the people God's put in my life. And to realize it's just the beginning absolutely has me speechless. 

This break is going to be hard because my heart is currently in North Dakota, Alabama, parts of Georgia, & even in Cleveland. Yet, I know that God is not even close to finished. He's about to open the floodgates of Heaven and it's just incredible. I sometimes can't believe this is the college "expierence" I'm having because these days are shaping the rest of my life and I'm seeing before my eyes Ephesians 3:21 "Now to Him who is ABLE to do more than we can even think or imagine...."

It's impossible to describe this joy in my heart......

lift high the name of Jesus.