It's late.
Again.
(It shouldn't be a surprise by now that I write most at night and that I think most at night.)

It's so cliche, but springtime really does make me feel so incredibly alive.
I think it's how friendly people are and how everyone tends to enter into a really good season of life all around the same time.

About 2 weeks ago I was miserable, honestly.
In all realms--physically, spiritually, socially even.
My heart and mind kept saying "I'm so over my life. I'm over every situation and relationship."
I shut down in the only way I knew--to escape. To get away from it. Be that through shutting myself off or a number of other things. During that time I kept telling God that this wasn't what I imagined and that quite frankly I was sick of dealing with life and that I'd very gladly move on to the next stage of life as soon as possible.
Well, the Patient God I serve began to speak to me....and in those still moments He began to teach me (yet AGAIN) of how perfect His timing is. Of how, when we lay something at His feet it is no longer ours to bear, so why was I trying to hold something that wasn't meant to be held? Why was I carrying the pain of situations that I in no way shape or form was called to carry? Why wasn't I leaning on Him in my time of need like I did in my times of plenty? Why was I only taking the good things from the Lord and not the bad?

There's a person in my life right now who is changing me.
The funny thing is, he doesn't know it. He doesn't know that he's an answer to so many prayers.
Prayers from even over a year ago.
And it's beautiful to me the way the Lord works, and that He is using this friend to change me all the while him having no idea.
He's teaching me love and selflessness and loyalty and what it really means to carry someone's burdens: ALONGSIDE THEM.
We had a conversation the other night about my misery of the last couple weeks and we began to talk about how incredible is it to have someone next to you. I believe there are times when we are called to stand behind someone or even at times in front of them, but there is nothing as valuable as the people God puts in our lives to stand next to us.

It's springtime, and just like the growth in my heart over the last several weeks, I'm just full of praise.
I fasted (an issue I don't ever talk about on my blog because it's a very personal thing) yesterday on behalf of this friend and it was absolutely amazing to hear the things God did. I'm in awe.

I guess you could say I'm rounding that corner, into better days, good conversations great relationships and joy. I'm seeing Jesus in everything again and it's glorious.

I cannot even believe the things God is doing in my life.

I'll never be the same.