...

Too much to say.
Not enough combination of words [at least now.]
to do justice to the feelings and impact I want them to make.

Words do that a lot.
Fall short.

But.

Don't they do the exact opposite too?
They have the power to change lives.

But...

they hold power to break.

Maybe someday in the midst of things,
I'll find them.
The words I want to use to describe, express, explain what needs to be said.

For now...
missing. misunderstanding. forgiven or not? freedom. HOPE. He rescued me because He delights in me. LEEU. new friends. those eyes. smiling. new hair. anticipation. failure. not being good enough. being better than good enough. pride comes before what? pride comes before DESTRUCTON. the way things used to be. change. preparation. faith. but the best of these is love. love is the movement. i will finish. becoming a teacher. family. babies. HE HAS MADE ALL THINGS NEW. never going back. those things that shouldn't of been said. release of bitterness. it's over now. i miss you more than i should, more than i thought i could. writing. poems. novels. themes. redemption. new art project. painting. weariness. doubt. hot pink nails. the cross necklace. i need to find that. i'll be here for you for forever. how long? waiting is still and always will be the hardest part.