I'm such a walking paradox.

I am tired from this past semester and a half of ministry, relationships, growth, studying, etc. 

but I'm also tired of doing nothing and want so badly for this summer to be full of all of those things.

I am tired of knowing that I'm called to be set apart and that for the rest of my life "just getting by" is not an option,

but I'm also blessed and humbled and amazed and excited that that is the life God called me to.

I am bored and slightly lonely and exhausted and feeling pointless

but I'm rested and relaxed and surrounded by family & friends and taking a much needed break.

I am 100% thrilled about this upcoming Fall semester. EVERYTHING. friends, ministry, classes, etc.

but I am waiting to see what God is doing to do with some situations and some relationships and I'm not exactly nervous, but I just wish I knew what the end result was so I can begin to prepare instead of keep holding on to something that very well may not happen.

I'm okay with waiting

but I am tired of it. (and I wish I knew for how long)

I know I'm supposed to write because it's for a purpose far, far, far beyond me

but sometimes I'm not sure I have what it takes.